It goes hand in hand with being intentional. Whatever it is you’re trying to find when searching for love online, make it a bit of a priority in your life. Ask whoever it is you’re talking with to grab a drink after work, or maybe if your offices are close enough you could try to meet for lunch or walk around a nearby park. It’s important to not fall for the excuses of why someone cannot meet up with you! We are all busy and we all have commitments and things we need to do, but it only takes a few hours to meet up for coffee or drinks. Think of it this way as well: if someone can’t give you a few hours at the beginning, do they really have time for a relationship? If they aren’t prioritizing your time now then chances are they will not prioritize your time later when it becomes more important to do so.
While texting is an easy and convenient way to get to learn some things about someone before you make those official plans, it is also a limited form of communication. Don’t get me wrong, I am a big fan of texting and absolutely love and appreciate the convenience it has brought to our modern lives, but one of the most important things that make us attracted to someone and able to begin a relationship with them is their energy. Energy, or vibes if you’d prefer, is so important. How someone talks, their sense of humor, their affect and body language are all things that show us the type of person someone is which cannot be effectively communicated through texting. Have you ever messaged someone and laughed so hard at their messages, thought they were so cute in their pictures, and then met up with them at your local Starbucks and–yikes! There is no chemistry. Yeah, it happens. Then you’re sitting there thinking how you ever thought you were interested in this person. Sometimes you’re not a good fit with someone, and that’s okay! But try and avoid these online dating mishaps by getting off the phone and internet and getting out in the world on the first date.
It is also important to note that someone who is hesitant about meeting in real life may have some underlying issues going on. Are they on the dating app just to talk with people and bounce back after a previous failed relationship? Are they actually in a relationship and just bored and trying to talk to other people? Or worse, are they not who they really say they are? People like you who are utilizing the convenience of dating apps to get out there and meet people to start a genuine relationship will match your effort and will not leave you guessing their interest and intentions. It’s not that hard to coordinate schedules and link up. If they’re not meeting you, they’re not trying to meet you. Don’t stall out by remaining in the messages. You are a real person in the real world, they should come get to know you as your truly are.
The first date is more like a second date
If you’re anything like me, then you get extremely nervous before the first date. I know, it’s super embarrassing but that’s just how I feel! I am shaky, anxious, and I cannot stop fidgeting my hands. I absolutely hate it, and it goes on until I begin to relax a bit into the date. But one of the advantages about online dating is that you’ve kind of already had your first date with the person. You’ve already messaged and done some of the preliminary work of a first date: finding out what they are looking for, what they are interested in, information about their career or schooling, and you’ve already begun to identify some things you both have in common. You can go into the IRL transgender dating here already knowing a lot more information about someone than if it was truly the first time you were meeting them.
So the good news is you can relax a little bit! You are both already interested enough in one another to get passed some of the awkward small talk and not knowing what to ask about them. In this regard, you have the upper hand and can ask those deeper and more meaningful questions to get to know someone better and to gauge whether or not they would be relationship material. It feels so much better when the conversation is genuine interest and on topics that you enjoy talking about. Use the chemistry you’ve already developed! This way you can also fast track the dating process as well which is another reason online dating is such a convenient and helpful tool to navigate the modern dating scene.
As a bonus, you can use the dating app as an icebreaker. Inquire why they chose that particular site or app and maybe exchange some awkward conversations or horrible dates they’ve had since joining the online dating site. Hopefully you can learn more about any reservations they may have had about making plans with you and get a good laugh out of their awkward and uncomfortable experiences. That way, both of you can become a bit more comfortable and learn about one another’s past experiences as well. This can also open the door for conversations about past relationships which can provide good information to both of you about where they other person is coming from.…